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Writer's pictureKim Stambaugh

You've Always Been There

That moment it all comes into focus. You can finally see what you were meant to, and you are not distracted by the forest any longer.

When It All Comes Into Focus

All that running...

All that frantically searching...

All those moments you were so unsure...

So lost.

So wounded.


All those times you were immersed in the forest to only realize that nothing was familiar. You were surrounded in what you saw as safety realizing you really did not even know what your safety net was made of to the core of it's existence.


Is anyone there? Does any, one, single soul care about me?

Want to share life with me?

Does not one soul want to know my soul?

I do not want to be known by flesh. I want to be known by something much more sacred...soul.


All those nights curling up and facing all those demons alone. All those nights where my soul was alone in a dark wood.


Really I had ran into the woods seeking refuge, and that is where the battle raged the most for my soul. In the dark corners of existence where you have to face trials, and face them alone. You are trying every door. The burning is excruciating at first, but then at some point you decide to light your own bridges on fire. The world looks at you in awe and fear because you no longer feel the fire; you join it.


You incinerate everything because it is easier to scorch the hurt than it is to face it. You want to just...stop...feeling.

There is no one there when you turn around. No one is coming darling. No one is chasing after you or trying to save you.


This isn't Disney.

This isn't a Damsel situation.

You are not a princess.

You are a monster.


Huntsmen and princes do not rescue monsters; they are sent to destroy them.

Isn't that what we are told? Dragons and mystics are monsters?

They come to destroy and hurt?

They come to tear things apart?


Humanity and its glazed visions of what should be, and what truly is in this world are paradoxical at best.


Huntsmen are sent to tear them apart and rip away the iron that protects.

Princes appear to seek, hunt, and kill the soul of a "monster" to protect the damsel.

To squelch infinity itself my darling.


You are alone.

You are your own warrior.

You are not meant to be found.


Or....

Are you?


My soul has spent so much time trying to see things on a line. To categorize every little offense and cut. It has totally missed all the wonderful spheres of color that could have garnished much wisdom.


...do not miss the trees for the forest...do you hear that my darling?


Your soul's equal was always there.

Your soul's match was there breathing life for you to find each other.

Your soul's lover was always there, but you were so busy running that you couldn't see it for the forest filled with demons.

You were so busy hacking away to protect that you forgot to yield.


Quietly you were there.

Quietly you were waiting.

Quietly the answer was there just waiting for my soul's eyes to see.

Sometimes the soul is blind because of its own hurting.

My soul finally stilled long enough to open.

My soul finally stilled long enough to hear and to feel.


Souls connect long before sight, sound, or touch will bring reality to finality.

My soul has reached across chasms and distances that are unfathomable.

My soul is beating and it is heard.

Time you do not exist.

Space you do not exist.


Only souls exist from the Soul Giver.

You were always there.

You were always searching on the other side of the veil.


When veils lift in life, it is a true affirmation that infinity is the necessity, not the mortality of infinity's shell.


I feel you...

You have sang me to a path that leads the way home...

Do you feel time and space transcended as I do?


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